• Innerpill

Why we should stop blaming

I don't believe that anyone in this world is perfect. Instead, I know that everyone makes mistakes, encounter obstacles in life, and face unfortunate setbacks from time to time. But whenever we encounter such an event, we tend to push the blame.

  • If your event doesn't go according to the plan, we find a scapegoat to blame by pointing fingers.

  • If your friend lies to you, you blame the person for being fake.

  • If your date is late for an hour, you will then blame him/her for having no sense of time and a lack of respect.

  • If a bird shits on you, you would blame the fact that you are unlucky.

Nothing will ever change just by complaining and blaming

I understand you must be thinking - it is the reality for all the reasons are valid. But here is the truth, there is nothing you can ever do to make them change. You have no control over how they will respond to the situation.

Let use the game of basketball as an analogy. In a basketball game, your goal is to score points, and your opponent has to defend against you. Would you give the opponent your ball and expect them to help you score points?

They would probably take the ball and score points for themselves. When we blame others, we are giving up control over the situation by pushing our responsibilities away. By blaming others, we are expecting them to help us achieve our objectives.

We can never control our circumstances, we can only control the way we handle/respond to our circumstances

This is one of the few philosophies that I always preach and it is from the book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People." It also shares how we should embrace a positive attitude instead of an optimistic one when dealing with situations. (Click here to read about the difference between positiveness and optimism) It teaches us to shift our focus, from our circle of concern over, to our circle of influence.

Rather than wishing, hoping, believing, and praying for something, focus on influencing, controlling, changing, and impacting.

Change can only happen when we have control over the situation. Expecting changes when you have no control is optimism.

The act of blaming is a delegation of our responsibilities over to entities that we have no control over. Why are we giving up our control over "our circumstances"?

Instead of partaking in the act of blame

take control and ask yourself these few questions.

  • "What can I do to solve this?"

  • "How can I make a difference in this situation?"

  • "How do we move forth from here on out?"

  • "What is my next viable step?"

All Changes, big or small, always starts from within

Stop pushing the blame onto others and start fixing yourself first. Yes, others may be at fault, but there is nothing you can do. All you can ever do is start making changes from within. You can only grow when you start taking responsibility for your circumstances.

If you like this article, why not check out this article on "How you can schedule your time effectively". Also, why not show this article some love and leave a comment on your thoughts